The giving tree

[mlr]

...in Dallas for a weekend break. Today, entering a large room filled with orange balloons, I could feel a drop or two of accumulated stress drip away. At the height of my anguish last night at 4:00 A.M., I found myself reading aloud The Giving Tree to Israel. I was surprised he didn't know it, and I searched to find it online. (I found only the text.) I explained that I didn't mean to imply that he was the boy - or that anyone was in particular - but that I certainly did relate to the tree. I guess that's what you sow when you work all week like a dog at two jobs and try to maintain demanding goals. (In truth, the boy and the tree are like many dichotomies; the more you can claim one position, the more likely you are to be able to claim its opposite.) In reviewing the past couple of months, I can see how much I needed a break. The boss has kept me solo on my current project. I think he really likes the look of it, and doesn't want it spoiled by someone else's sense of design or lazy habits. But this makes for very intense days. I'm afraid in the midst of stress I broke one of my cardinal rules this week: Never show contempt for another person in a business meeting. No one said anything, nor did I make any overt statement. But in review, I think I was less than collegial with someone I'm scheduled to work with soon. Most people must contend with difficult others. It's not their report card we should worry about but our own. An incapacity to tolerate fools is a trait that most people over the age of 40 should have dropped.

Comments

[realaustinman.livejournal.com]

Agreed that that capability to work with all sorts comes with the territory of being a professional, but I'd add that once one is beyond the years of having to prove one's self, there's a particular value in being able to call BS when someone's shoveling it. Done politely, sparingly, but firmly, it's a powerfuly tool. As is another of my favorites. Silence.

[mlr.livejournal.com]

agreed!

[fitfool.livejournal.com]

Interesting...I find I grow less and less tolerant of fools as I age. When I was younger, I gave everyone the benefit of the doubt and readily gave people second chances. Now, I find it's much more of an effort to stay calm when faced with someone's perceived laziness or stupidity.

[mlr.livejournal.com]

My natural demeanor is serious. I've noticed for myself, in social situations or business situations, it rarely pays to come off as contemptuous. Even if the target of my ire is puffed-up, a buffoon, a liar, whatever... I've noticed that I come off starchy & judgmental and that rarely serves me well. In my case, it does pay to hold back such feelings. Or even more, to steer clear of them altogether.

I think realaustinman has a point, it is sometimes quite necessary to challenge such people and call their bluff. However - the art of diplomacy is much underestimated, and not always easily acquired.

[fitfool.livejournal.com]

I tended to be non-confrontational, always giving people the benefit of the doubt, always looking for benign explanations. As I age, I've grown less and less tolerant, wishing that people would grow up and act more responsibly for a change. I still approach things very diplomatically though since I don't like fighting.