week end

what a strange, uncomfortable week at work. a representative from British Telecom was here to establish 'confidence and clarity through evidence'. j. & k. still persisted in trying to present a picture of our stability and the development on our new product as something more than it is. this made me quite uncomfortable. j. of course gave the same old song and dance, which i find so full of lies it's hard to listen to anymore. i gave myself a few periodic checks on my attitude throughout the week. i didn't want the company to blow it because of me.

l. is still waving a very faint carrot over my head of perhaps another job opportunity. it's faint enough that i know to inquire very frequently would be rude. however it's just strong enough to already give me anxiety about leaving my current job - and the great rift it would cause.

saturday morning i practiced for five hours with a coffee break in the middle. i wish i had the time to do that daily. late in the morning i went to clerks ii - which i found to be a balm. nothing like a foul-mouthed satire to cheer a melancholic temper. although 'satire' might be the wrong word - it definitely has an intelligence that likes to slum. and in this time of W....we need a lot of cheering.....

it also had a nice score.....